Intro
I want to tell you a story about my porn addiction.
A few years ago, I had to try to find a new woman every night to jerk off to. I wanted to see my perfect woman, but also one I hadn’t seen already.
I was frustrated because I could spend a lot of time searching, and I was usually unsuccessful, or not as successful as I hoped — the women I found weren’t my exact type.
When I found one, I would download the images and videos, but I’d rarely revisit them. As soon as I saved the files, they lost most of their magic. I would get mad at myself sometimes, and wondered why something that was very exciting a few weeks ago, now wouldn’t give me any interest.
So I was frustrated by two things: not being able to find new perfect women, and frustrated that my old perfect women weren’t working as well.
Novelty is the Root Problem
What I have learned, in the 3 years after I started the Flying Eagle Method, is that novelty — something being brand new — is the root of this problem.
We can’t avoid seeing sexual content in today’s digital world. Every business knows that sex sells, and beauty gets eyeballs. But businesses also are very aware of the need for novelty.
Take anime, which is one of my vices. Every show with a hot woman or “waifu”, takes great care to make her look different than any other show. The artists adjust hair and eye color, hair style, clothing, etc. to make it clear that she is not a clone, but someone new that you haven’t seen before.
Why would the artists spend all this time and effort to make her different? Surely, by now there is some “super perfect” anime waifu image that could just be copied? Is it just to avoid copyright infringement?
No, because a clone of the hottest woman possible wouldn’t excite the novelty portion of our brains.
Also think about video games — what gets you more hyped up and excited: playing a new game, or replaying a game you beat before?
The “No Novelty November” Challenge
What can we do in this world filled with digital slot machines — aka screens — where we constantly swipe or scroll to see something new?
Here’s my suggestion: do a “Nothing New”, or “No Novelty” challenge, for 30 days. Of course, you can do this in any month you’d like.
At the beginning of the challenge, pick one or two arousing pieces of media that you have already seen. These could be porn, softcore, “PG-13” — whichever you want to reduce.
During the challenge, you can jerk off, but it can only be to memory, or watching the one or two media items you picked.
Don’t watch any other sexualized imagery, including TV shows, anime, athletes, models, video games, etc. Try not to use your imagination to come up with brand new fantasies, either.
Today’s world is overclocking our natural drive to see new things, and many of us need a detox. You try it and decide for yourself!
Looking Back
When I was a horny teenager, we would rent VHS tapes at the video store a few times a month. If I was lucky, maybe there would be a new movie with a hot actress, but this didn’t usually happen. Or maybe there would be a new catalog in the mail for Christmas. Looking back, I actually did “Nothing New November” challenges all the time, without realizing it.
Decades later, I am more intentional about it, and ask myself: do I really NEED to see something NEW, and climb on that endless treadmill? Or will I be happier just thinking about something old. I also try to re-enjoy my favorite old music, movies, and books — they’re relaxing, not intense.
Conclusion
“No matter how much we see, we are never satisfied.” — Ecclesiastes 1:8
“He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.” — Lao Tzu
Just like our bodies have a natural limit for how much sugar we can process, our minds have a limit of how much sexual imagery we can tolerate. The solution isn’t to try to “exercise it off”, or “not jerk off to it”, it’s to cut off the problem at the source: limit the intake.
So ask yourself: do you NEED to see something NEW? Or should you be doing a Nothing New November, for the next 30 days.